As the year comes to an end, I am taking some time to reflect on the decade that was.
I am closing loops, checking in with my belief systems and releasing what I need to leave behind, so that 2020 can be a whole new up levelling.
I suppose that is the difference between who I was and who I am now.
The me in the past would not have been able to see all of the “learnings” (failures, repeated lessons and resistance to change) as a positive. I would have secretly been calling myself an idiot and my head would have been filled with all of the “not enoughs.” ( Not smart enough, not good enough, not valued enough, not kind enough, not slim enough……)
Now I can see all of that for what it actually was. Learning!
We never stop learning and growing, we simply have to acknowledge that! If we are not growing and learning, we are stuck and that feels a whole lot worse!
This year, I managed to make it a priority to see Brene Brown, live in Melbourne. I went by myself. Even just a couple of years ago, I would not have done that!
To make that happen, I had to rely on someone else to take the kids to school. I had to drive through the city during peak hour and I had to find my destination as well as a bloody car park and then get myself to the presentation. Previously I would have totally over thought the situation, gotten myself into a bit of a hot mess and possibly not enjoyed the day. On B day (Brene day) I simply did the things to get to where I needed to be. Ok, I missed a turn off, but I didn’t die and I REALLY enjoyed the day! That is growth. I am celebrating that.
Almost three years ago, I took myself to Bali (without my family) to meet up with a group of women, whom I had only met online. (My online friends, we still joke about this! These women are still a huge part of my life and I am INCREDIBLY grateful for that.)
We were on retreat at a beautiful resort and we spent time together, working on ourselves, our business’ and our connection.
I can not tell you how much of a difference this made on my life. To “allow” myself to only think of my own needs, to push myself outside of my comfort zone and to simply just be. (This has in fact inspired me to build a retreat myself, but more on that another day.)
What it took for me to get to Bali, without my family, included a whole lot of guilt and resistance (and the need to make a freezer full of gluten free sandwiches, because no one else could possibly do this…..) There was also guilt around money, time and responsibility.
What I would never have discovered without that trip, was that I serve others much better, when I serve myself first. That is growth.
One of my biggest learnings recently was to fall in love with Naturopathy all over again!
To see a person for who they truly are, what is contributing to their health, what their underlying functional or structural needs are. How is their body attempting to heal itself, how are they managing to self sabotage at a subconscious level. How might their physical condition relate to their psychological, emotional or spiritual health. What is the least intervention required to restore their own personal state of balance and what do they need from me in that moment to facilitate and streamline their learning. I have been reflecting on the beauty of what we do as practitioners and how incredibly valued we are as a profession. We actually bloody rock!!!
I am currently looking at 2020 with the most incredible clarity. I feel like I have shed so many layers of who I thought I was and who I thought I should be. It is incredibly liberating to not only have carved out time to do this, but to actually acknowledge just how far I have come.
What do you need to let go of to step into this new decade with clarity?
What needs to change in order for you to be able to serve better?
What have you been overlooking within yourself that finally wants to be tended to?
I cant wait to see what 2020 brings. All of it, the light, the dark, the celebrations and the challenges.
I am leading into the new decade with a slight tweak on my core values.
The next challenge it so refine how to operationalise these values so that I stay on track.
I am incredibly creative at making up stories in my head around any given situation, basically I can hijack myself and “go offline.” This years values are all about continuing to check in with myself so that I can respond rather than react. I am allowing time. Rather than pushing to fix a problem, I am spending more time understanding the problem first.
I am also learning when to disengage. Something that I really felt strongly about on B day (Brene day) was her discussion around self worth and shame. She stated that those with a higher level of self worth will disengage the fastest with the “usual drama,” they understand that basically it is not their shit or their problem. The ones with the least amount of self worth will hold on the longest to a problem, they are literally he last to let go. (I had an incredible experience with this some years ago and although at the time, it felt pretty rotten, I am grateful now.)
As far as 2020 and my work, I am creating and building the tools that we need to reset. The tools that I needed. No one is teaching how to reset after a crisis and we sure as heck can not reset on the way down. The feelings associated here are failure, disappointment, set back and those self fuelled ruminating thoughts that bring in all of the “not enoughs.”
We need the tools to play with every day. This ensures that the hole isn’t too deep, which means we can pull ourselves out faster. When you land, you tuck and roll, rather than splat all over the place! I cant wait to see what comes of this idea!
My last pearl of wisdom or gold nugget from B day, was a personal story that she shared with us. Brene has been dealing with more of her, now ageing, parents. What she is noticing, as we age, is that no one ever wished that they had not shown up. The hospital discussions were around regret at not having had more of a go. Regret of their self limitations and what stopped them from showing up how they would have liked to.
It reminded me of something that I tell many of my clients. “No one was ever on their death bed, wishing that had cleaned more.” Meaning, get out there and enjoy what you have.
How do you want your 2020 to look? Have you thought about it?