I literally mean killing us!
I notice it time and time again in clinic, with my friends, my family and of course you and me!
I was listening to my incredible PT Megan this last week and she reminded me that we don’t actually have to slog it out every time at the gym.
Simply showing up consistently and giving what ever you can is better than going hard one week and then feeling as though you are not capable of participating at that level the next week. Some movement is better than no movement at all. (Can you tell why I love her so much? That and the fact that she sweetly tells us that we are finishing on intervals from now until Christmas!)
What has this got to do with perfectionism?
Many of us believe that if we can not do the job properly, then why bother doing it at all. So we quit on ourselves or end up making excuses, hiding away or hoping that no one has noticed!
I see this often, particularly with the women that I speak with. We want to do everything well, we want to please people, just not always ourselves!
In my clinic, some people have missed appointments for fear that they are going to be caught out. They may not have done their homework OR they have not committed as well as they had originally pledged. So instead of just showing up anyway, the fact that they have not been fully committed brings on a feeling of shame. Often some of us find it easier to drop off and pretend like we never tried rather than fronting up to not getting it perfectly completed.
Other perfection issues include scenarios where friends make social commitments and then pull out at the last minute. The truth is that they just don’t have the energy to be the person they perceive they are expected to be. They agreed to the event when they were feeling happy and energetic, however on the day, they are tired and feeling a little withdrawn (not the kind of company that they feel is very social.) There is also a hormonal component to this, but that is a story for another time!
Perfection issues show up in family members, especially at the end of the year. Many are balancing work commitments with their “life” and being available for their children and ALL of the concerts, parties and school requests. Apparently there is a happy “work life balance” that is totally achievable. Im calling BS on THAT one…..
When we have that feeling that we have to do it well or not do it at all, we quit on ourselves before we even start. OR we make a start and then, as life has it, you have some kind of setback, leading to a feeling of failure. Often this is even worse than starting in the first place as we are back at square one AND feeling as though we are not good enough, not disciplined enough and not strong enough. That inner critic can be an absolute bitch, I can bet that you wouldn’t speak to a friend or child the way that your inner critic is talking to you!!!
So my invitation to you is to just keep at it, no matter how you are feeling. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Maybe you have made a few dietary modifications and you feel like it is all to hard right now….. Or maybe you ate a meal that felt like a failed effort, so you feel like its time to ditch the new foods and put off starting again until Monday.
If this is you, I want to share with you, what I share in clinic quite frequently.
Have you ever dropped your phone and smashed or cracked your screen? Do you keep throwing it on the ground smashing it more and more until it is completely broken?
You definitely pick it up, dust it off and work out a way to fix it.
So the next time you eat something, forget your supplements or hide from training (be it self focused or group accountability), think about whether you could benefit from dusting yourself off and just doing what you can. Any movement is better than no movement and any recommitment to your health will be better than “breaking the screen” even further.
Should you find yourself feeling like you would like some support, I would love to have the opportunity to chat with you. I would like to invite you to book a FREE mini session to get to know each other and see if we could work together.
I would love to create an action plan to focus on your main health concern. I love taking tired stressed out and anxious women and bringing back the calm, focus and energy.
Lets start 2019 off the way you have always hoped, with EPIC support.